The Hype Monster

Posted March 17, 2014 in Dreaming Novel Things, Features, Uncategorized / 7 Comments

He’s Coming For You                        

monster1.jpgHe doesn’t creep or crawl. He’s not under your bed or hiding in your closet. He’s not big or green. He has no fangs or wings.

But when he roars he is deafening.

He lives in words of excitement and in your thoughts of anticipation. You’ll find him in the internet lurking in forums for his next victim. He’s in every praise, every exclamation point and every capital letter.

He hungers on for your wild feelings and feeds on your eagerness. He draws you in with his words of surety and false promises. His lies are the web that he uses to trap you so that he can suck you dry. He’ll flood your twitter feed and use your friends against you. He’s always there, waiting for you to succumb. He doesn’t break for anything but instead constantly whispers in your ear,

“I am coming for you.”

monster2.jpgSoon he’s everywhere, surrounding you on all sides. Your friends and family will give in to his hype and fall victim. You can hide but he will find you. You have to meet him head on. You have to face his masses and show your strength. You must constantly say to yourself,

“I will not give in.”

But being alone brings doubt. His victims squander around you, proclaiming the monster’s brilliance. Their words assure that this hype monster is no monster at all, but a true gem.

“Give in,” they whisper, “give in.”

monster3.jpgYour confidence will fade. Your strength will ebb away and he will smile. He’ll see your resolve melt and go in for the kill. He delivers the book himself, again with false promises and assurities. He is all encompassing as he persuades and beats your spirit down.

He wins not when you give in but when you trust. When spirits soar at the thought of reading his book, when your expectations are especially heightened and excitement at a maximum. Then he wins because then he can crush you. He is victorious.

Then he roars.

He Got You


Have you ever fallen victim to the hype monster? Share below and happy reading!


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7 responses to “The Hype Monster

  1. “I am coming for you.” – LOL, this post is hilarious. 😀 And those cute hype monsters! <333
    I wish the Real Hype Monster was more like them, it would make it so much less terrifying. Still, let' NOT give in!! Fightin'

    • Thank you Cayce, I’m glad you found it entertaining! The book hype has been striking me a lot lately so much so that I’ve grown very weary of popular books. I just bought Cinder by Marisssa Meyer and am nervous that the hype won’t live up to the story. Have you read it? Thanks for reading Cayce, and beware the Hype Monster, he is coming for you! 😉

  2. This is AMAZING!

    I love how you turned the Hype Monster into an actual little story, and that it’s one that speaks so honestly of my experience with hype! The last book I was super excited to read because of the hype, and then ultimately let down by, was Insurgent by Veronica Roth. I had found Divergent to be entertaining, if problematic. But everyone assured me the issues I had had in Divergent were addressed in Insurgent and that I would finish it with all of the feels! While it didn’t completely suck, I wasn’t blown away either. If anything, I was more disappointed BECAUSE I wasn’t blown away, like everyone had promised.

    Again, this is SO so good! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face today 😀

    • Thank you Kelly, and I meant to tell you on your blog that I loved your message that pops up to first time commenters! I’ve never seen that before and I thought it was so sweet and sincere. You’re blog is awesome and witty and full of hilarity! So you can count on me being a regular visitor! 🙂

      And OMG you saved me!!!!!! I read Divergent a month ago and was very underwhelmed by it. I mean it’s entertaining with all the action but I had issues with the world building and a few plot holes. But my friends assured me that Insurgent resolves all these issues and that I would LOVE it. So I had planned on reading it this week with some pretty high hopes, but you saved the day. Now I can read it with more realistic expectations, thanks Kelly and thanks for sharing! 🙂